Lesson #23: Out With The Old

My best friend from medical school arrived on the island today. We've known each other for almost two decades, through being frenemies in college (well, truthfully, we were just both misunderstood) to the med school grind, through marriages and widowhood, motherhood, and a whole lot of singlehood (that's me, in case you haven't been following). It's comforting when someone has known you for so long, like a familiar song or a soft, worn sweater, but it can also be confining. Especially when you've changed so damn much. What do you do when you have outgrown your old self yet folks still expect that person to show up? The bad driver, the woman with endless dating horror stories, the vegetarian, the high strung strung out Type AAA student, the passive aggressive perfectionist, the entertainer, the yes woman, the jealous bitter singleton? That woman isn't turning up anytime soon. Or ever again. She's gone out with last year's fashion and yesterday's news. In all fairness, my friend has changed a great deal, too. We've both been through a lot this past decade and have grown up more than we both probably realize. It's just so hard not to fall back into old patterns with old friends and family. It's very difficult not to be who you think they want you to be. It's awkward and unnatural to try out this new routine on an old audience expecting the same jokes night after night. But it's the only way to move forward, together, and strengthen those bonds through all that shared history. Dust off the cobwebs, step up to the mic and bring on the new.