Lesson #24: Thanks Takes Thinking
Gratitude has never come easily to me. Whether it was the strange combination of my slightly too comfortable middle class upbringing and my painful childhood or the fact that I have had to struggle for a lot of things others take for granted, while seemingly unattainable riches seem to fall into my lap to the untrained eye. Some things are out of my control - good genes, intelligence, near-perfect pitch, the ability to learn any language in under two weeks, a body that would make JLo jealous, the knack for making friends with a wall. So why have I always focused on what I don't have? What hasn't been possible? What didn't work out? Is it the desire for a challenge, the constant need to push myself, or is it some sort of perverse Jewish melancholy that has often kept me rooted in misery? Sure, life ain't fair. But so what? What kind of lemonade are you going to make from the aftermath of events beyond your control? What sort of action can you take to make things feel less random and unjust? I had always pictured this birthday in Paris or in my fabulous Greenwich Village flat, a ring on my finger and a baby in my belly. When those two things failed to show up, I had to start directing my own show: I chose the loveliest Caribbean island I could find, booked what can only be described as a villa straight out of paradise, and was lucky enough to bring my two best friends along for the ride. Luck? Perhaps. Wisdom, faith, experience, guts, persistence, desire,passion, lust for life? Definitely. To the outside world it may seem that I have it all: friends, family, love, a brand new job/promotion just in time for my birthday, and I'm typing it all from a hilltop overlooking the ocean. It doesn't seem fair, really. But then I think about just how hard the past 10 years have been and I know I deserve this. I've worked my guts out for it. I've earned it. And on this day of turkey and pilgrims and new beginnings, I can only think of all that I have and just how grateful I am for every minute. But this takes practice. It's easier to dwell and commiserate over cosmos, to vent, to whine, to woe it up. But those days are over. And the best is yet to come. I'm sure of it. P.s. Happy birthday to a woman I owe everything to: my mom.